I have found that one of the most powerful tools for increasing the engagement and motivation of others, whether a member of my team, a colleague, my boss or my family is ‘truly listening’.
Truly listening means suspending my own agenda for a moment and concentrating on the other person. By that I mean, facing them, really looking at them, giving them my full attention-showing a real interest.
The hardest thing to do is to suspend my own agenda. Of course wanting to engage with someone is an agenda in itself.
However, I think I hold the belief that benefit will come to both of us if I concentrate on the other person even for a short time. Just by truly listening the connection and engagement changes-as if by magic.
So if you are finding someone challenging, try listening to them with interest
Five ways of listening that disengage and demotivate:
Thinking about something else
Facing the other way
Feeling impatient, annoyed, anxious
Looking at your blackberry/computer
Asking closed questions